small acts of love

Today's Marriage Tip

Sometimes we think that in order to gain the approval or acceptance of the one we love, we need to do something extraordinary. In reality it is the smaller things that can mean the most. How about opening the car door for her, buying her a small gift, or going out of your way when you are busy to have her car washed? Just telling him how much you appreciate how hard he works, or letting him know that you find his ideas cool, or buying him some new golf balls (when you hate golf) can go a very long way toward touching his heart. Small things can be great tools for long term love over time. So, don't forget the small, simple things. They often add up to a large deposit of happiness. Enjoy!

You're on the same team

Today's Marriage Tip

Okay, so you are stressed and are feeling disconnected from your mate, and maybe a little resentful. I find that when I am stressed I am more likely to react in anger. I am more likely to be judgmental, and more likely to blame. But what happens when we are blamed or judged? We get defensive and hurt. We become much more likely to respond in anger. Hurtful words come most easily from the one we love.

What can you do? Try to step back, take a breath, and attempt to look at what is being said objectively.  Remember, your spouse is not your enemy. You may need to discuss some things but do so with the idea that "we are friends" and "we are on the SAME team" not opposing ones. These stressful situations are opportunities to learn more about your spouse and yourself. As you communicate in the ways that work well for you, through all the trials, you will grow closer together if you side with each other. You may not agree and you may argue a bit, but you are on the same team. Choose to do the loving thing for your spouse and yourself today. Your marriage is worth it.

Make a beautiful marriage

Today's marriage tip:

Did you know that beautiful marriages don't just happen? They are made. The beautiful feelings of love and desire help you get started. They draw you together and offer a kind of "glue" to your relationship, but after a while those feelings usually start to fade. Staying in love is about building a relationship that has more than just romance. Romance is great, but friendship will carry you when times get tough. So, make sure you take time to actually become friends. Why? Friends are usually far less likely to judge and criticize each other. They give each other the benefit of the doubt and have compassion when the other is experiencing difficulty. Friendship is the thing to strive for in marriage. And believe me, when you seek to be each other's friend the romance remains longer, and returns more easily when the pressures of life cause you to forget how much you mean to each other.